brynn, my dear... why did you delete some of your blogs? They're part of memories and history... and it looks like you deleted some of the ones from the play era. :-(. That's all I have to say.

ALISON D:

"Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Lean on me…

I love you, Al. You are always welcome here and if you ever just need to cry or scream, I've got open ears and 2 sholders to cry on.

Since it's Thanksgiving, I thought I'd reflect for a brief moment on what I'm thankful for. I am thankful for having good friends. I am thankful for being able to have experiences and memories that will be with me always. I am thankful for having been accepted to college and they offered me some $$ as well. I am thankful for all the material possessions that I have. I am thankful that I got to PARK. I am thankful for being thankful. (Did that make any sense?)

Smily-face: Where is Al, then? It definitely hasn't been 3 weeks. This doesn't sound too good. Please let me know what you know ASAP!

Carly: "Why do you like having a blog? What's good about them? And What do they do for you?"
I like having a blog for a few reasons. It makes me feel apart of a community. Not only people who have blogs, but people who read blogs. It's kind of a nice idea that people will be interested in my life enough to read something that I posted. Or perhaps they're just incredibly bored. Either way, it was nice that when I said I needed a hug, Ian came up to me with open arms. Still makes me smile. Umm, yeah I can't think of what else to say to answer your question.

Last night I did something that I haven't done in a really long time. I watched a movie with my mom. She made me hot chocolate, and she drank her tea, and we watched Michael together. Although I know that many of you (myself included) would much rather be out with friends then home with the 'rents, but on a snowy night, there's just something about being safe and warm in your own house, drinking hot chocolate with your mom.

Alison and Marie: Thanks for coming with me. It was a good time. And how can anyone pass up a Saved By The Bell marathon. If anyone ever has a craving to watch SBTB, just let me know. It's such a feeling to go back to my childhood and relive these moments.

"Who wants to buy the cow, when they can get the milk for free?" So, true... I wish it was that easy, though.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Eat lots. What are you thankful for?

Thank you

Thank you to those who need not be named. You have impacted my life so much, that life without you seems horrible. What am I going to do without you? I love you. I mean that with the most sincerity in the world.

Tomorrow is Friday and I really need a break. I need to morn the end of my era. The end of the play, and the end of everything that comes with that. I just wish I could pause time.

I wish that... I wish that... You know what? I honestly don't know what I wish. My brain hurts. My heart aches.

I love you.

fuck freshman. i hate them. well, some of them. omg if i was ever as stupid as some of them are, i really should have been/should be shot.

it's amazing how my day can go from good to bad so fast. i am so upset right now.

i need another hug. and some angry music. or a punching bag. ahhhhh

but i'm going to "put on a happy face" like the song says.

I'm so stressed out right now that I don't know what to do with myself. I've never felt this way. I want to cry and I have no idea why. I'm supposed to be having a good time. If I look at my life from an outside perspective, I know I have a good life. I am very fortunate that my parents are still married and that they both love me very much. I live in a nice neighborhood and go to a good school. I have my own car, and spending money. I have a cell phone and I have friends. But there feels like there is something missing. Idk... I can't put it in to words. I just wish someone would come up to me and explain life so that I could live it better. Or just come up and give me a hug.

1st weekend of the play is over and I have bittersweet feelings. I feel that it came together so well and despite that it is really long, I think it is a quality play. But at the same time, I really need a break from these people. I have suffered way too much drama. That's what I like about having 2 weekends of performances. Not only does all your hard work get shown off 6 times, but you get to ultimately celebrate with all these people all the hard work you've put in. (And Ian and Art: You too... grrrr...)... and: It's an intersting feeling when you are the 1st person out in "I've never". I kinda liked it.

If anyone reads this out in internet land: I need a hug. Thanks in advance.

The play went so well and we're all so happy (the cast/crew). Thanks to Mac, Alison, carly and my rents, and my voice teacher and everyone else who came and saw it. it really means a lot!

stupid quote of the day: "but you know what nothing can compare to your smile. I love your smile so much"

Stupid people. blah. I need to go and shower and get ready for night. tata

Am I really that nuts

Thanks to Mac and Alison for having my back. It really means a lot!

I found a perfect song that no longer says what I am feeling, but did at one point: Blaque's ... ummm... crap... I don't' remember what it is called... but it's #14 on the CD that I have... Something about the last teardrop. Quality music.

Oh man, sleep is the only thing on my mind. I promise that a later blog will be more, well, interesting-- for lack of a better word.

Oh... and a ps... Does anyone think that my neck thing makes me not normal? Like to the point where I should see a shrink about it? "It's like someone having a fear of buttons... It's not normal.." -- "anonymous"... Please lemme know your response. I really don't think I'm that nuts...

The end of an era

"Maybe the absence of comfortableness leads me to my passions and potential." --Carly Dachis

I have recently been taken out of the comfortableness and despite wanting that level of comfort back, I do think it will lead me to become a stronger individual and strive for more.

And Carly: thanks for putting my thoughts on to paper (blogger). I definitely think it's ridiculous to try to figure out who someone is and who they may be by answering some questions and writing an essay. We don't even know who we all-- how can they?

I think a lot of us seniors are finally growing up to a point where we want more then what SLP can offer us. Being 13/16 done with our mandatory school careers, this is a great time to ask: what do we want? But, being done with high school will be the end of an era. We will loose touch with some, and follow our passions to its full extent.
I'm definitely not making sense... Sorry

Have a good rest of the weekend...

This is my horoscope for today... ahhhh

"Everyone else is willing to compromise what they want in order to make you happy and you're still not satisfied. You're being offered something that most people would jump at and for some reason, you're not seeing how incredibly lucky you are. Admit that you're being unreasonable and consider the enormity of this opportunity. If you miss this deal of a lifetime, you won't get a second chance"

I hate my life

Blehh

"If you're alone and you need a friend. Someone to make you forget your problems.."

This was the song that was playing when I started enjoying sadies last night. Thanks, my friends, who helped me forget my problems and enjoy myself.

On Sadies: I HATE BPA AND DECA! I thought this dance was way too expensive! Meal included my ass... if you call those weenie dogs, chocolate, and cheese and crackers a meal. And you had to buy the pop for $2... at least the water was free. Enough on that.

Last night, for the first time in a while, I felt calm, and ok. I'm not sure if that feeling will remain part of me or if it was just momentary. All I can say is I hope it does cuz I'm completely worn out of feeling what I was feeling before.

I wish Alison didn't have to go to Chicago... I needed her this weekend

"Remember yesterday, but live for today."

I'm not happy right now.

Different note: Got my 1st acceptance letter today. Indiana has let me in! There was a momentary gladness

I am so ready to be done with high school. I am so sick of this shit that I go through day in and day out. WHY??

Fuck this

Night...