Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end

I was reminded of around this time last year. AP test were rolling around and I found myself being like, this is when finals will be in college! I remember having our last senior meeting in the gym to finalize graduation mumbo jumbo. I remember getting excited for all of those grad parties. And I remember the grad gifts that me and Jen exchanged with each other. We both decided that no matter what else was given, the words of Dr. Seuss had to be included. Everyone is getting ready to end a chapter of their lives. Whether it be high school, freshmen year of college, a loved one graduating, or out to find your own path- take these words with you wherever you go.

Oh, the Places You'll Go!
by Dr. Seuss


Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

2 weeks and 5 days....

Soon my window to the outside world will once again be covered in leaves. In the beginning- it was a safe cover, something that added privacy and color. Now the lack of coverage has allowed me to perfect my people watching skills. With the growth of new leaves, I am reminded once again that everything is a signal to the changing of the seasons, and with that, a changing of our lives.

"And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and dawn
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return we con only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game." -Joni Mitchell

Here I am, 19 years old, and in the span of 8 months I have created a life for myself that is so much different then my past 18 years. I don't do well with change and I really don't do well with goodbyes. I think one of my fears is leaving these people that I've become so close with here in "La La land" (school world). When I left home in August, I knew that eventually I would be coming home to the people that really did know me best and they would still be there for me. However, I'm now leaving people I've only know for less then a year. What will happen over the 4 months we're not in school? How many people will I call and who will actually call me? I fear that once I leave this world that I've created for myself, these people and places will vaporize into merely memories that will never be what they were right now. And that scares me. I am so happy right now. I can honestly say that I'm not ready to leave.

At some point, I realized that there is a whole world between the hours of 12-3am. I realized that spontaneously drinking on a Monday night does happen. I realized that people will change and grow and there isn't a darn thing I can do about it. And more then anything, I realize friends will show up in the most unexpected places and the most unexpected times.

Like Carly, I only wish I could find the words to describe my world...

"I can't remember all the times I've tried to tell myself to hold on to these moments as they pass."- Counting Crows

I'm glad I'm Taking the Journey...

I scored a 77% on the "How Minnesotan are you?" Quizie! What about you?

One month

*It's offcially one month 'till the end of freshmen year*

A year has passed and now we stand on the brink of returning to a world where we are surrounded by the paradox of everything, and yet nothing being the same. In one month we will reluctantly give our hugs and fighting the tears, say goodbye to people who were once just names on a sheet of paper to return to people that we hugged and fought tears to say goodbye to before we ever left. We will leave our best friends to return to our best friends. We will go back to the places we came from and go back to the same things we did last summer and every summer before that. We will come into town on that same familiar road, and even though it has been months, it will seem like only yesterday. As you walk into your old bedroom, every emotion will pass through you as you reflect on the way your life has changed and the person you have become. You suddenly realize that the things that were most important to you a year ago don't seem to matter so much anymore, and the things you hold highest now, no one at home will completely understand. The memories and the stories from school won't mean anything to anyone at home and yet you resent them for that, that they can't share that happiness with you. Who will you call first? What will you do your first weekend home with your friends? How long before you actually start missing people barging in without calling or knocking? Who will get pizza at three in the morning with you now? How long until you adjust to sleeping alone in a room again? Then you start to realize how much things have changed, and you realize the hardest part of university is balancing the two completely different worlds you now live in, trying desperately to hold on to everything all the while trying to figure out what you have to leave behind. In the matter of one day's traveling time, we will leave our world of living next do or to our best friends, walking across campus to eat, instant messenger, 8:00am classes, and the perpetual procrastination to a world that will seem foreign to us despite the fact that we lived in it for eighteen years. But it is different now. We now know the meaning of true friendship. We know who we have kept in touch with over the past year and who we hold dearest in our hearts. We've left our high school world to deal with the real world. We've had our hearts broken, we've fallen in love, we've helped our best friends overcome depression, stress and death, and we've stayed up all night on the phone just to talk to a friend in need. There have been times when we've felt so helpless being hours away from home when we know our families needed us, and there are times we know we have made a difference. One month from now we will leave. One month from now we take down our pictures, and pack up our clothes. No more going next door to do nothing for hours on end. We will leave our friends whose random email and phone calls will bring us to laughter and tears this summer. We will take our memories and dreams and put them away for now, saving them for our return to this world. One month from now we will arrive. We will unpack our bags and have dinner with our families. We will drive over to our best friend's house and do nothing for hours on end. We will return to the same friends whose random emails and phone calls have brought us to laughter and tears over the year. We will unpack old dreams and memories that have been put away for the past year. In one month we will dig deep inside to find the strength and conviction to adjust to change and still keep each other close. And somehow, in some way, we will find our place between these two completely different worlds.

Guess who's bloggin

I just decided tonight that I was in a mood to blog. Things are so up and down these days. Guess I'll do a summary of my life from the past while. Spring break I was home in good ol' SLP. At some point in college, I want the "spring break" trip, but I was content with being at home. I saw some movies, hung out with people, and relaxed. It was also an interesting break being that Matt's dad died. It was a slap in the face of reality that bad things do happen to good people. Over these past years I usually hear my parents talk about their friend's parents dying. And yes, there were the rare occasions in HS where a peer lost a parent. But Chuck was someone I had actually met. It was so... weird, for lack of a better word. Anywho, I was excited to come back to school. I missed people. Things back here have been good and bad. The week right after spring break I had tons of tests, papers, and projects. And since then, I feel like I've been equally busy with this or that. The days are flying by, and I honestly have a month and 2 days left of my freshmen year of college. Sorority life- I'm just going to say that I'm trying to be positive. I'm trying to not feed off of myself. I'm trying. On a wonderful note: I'm going to ISRAEL in May on Birthright! I'm incredibly excited because it is with some of my friends from school and it's such an awesome opportunity! Well, I'm off to do more homework and such. If you'd like elaboration on any topic in my life that was either not covered, or not covered thoroughly, either leave me a message in the comments, or IM me.