I-N-D-I-A-N-A

I suppose it's time to tap in to my brain and cause a little brain spill...

My other life- my Indiana life:
I am a stranger, just visiting. Sometimes I wonder if one day I will wake up, only to find myself back in SLP- land of lakes (which I miss dearly). These past few weeks have been definitely up and down. Sometimes I am so in the middle of feeling happy or upset that I have no feelings at all. I loved last year. And more then anything, I don't really deal well with change. So, this has been rough- with so many new things to try to deal with. I have 3 roommates. Yes, I've lived with 10 other girls at camp for a month, but that felt more like La La land then this ever will. I went from a double-single, to the little Libby living in a shoe. There is more drama in my life then ever before. I eat an early-bird special (5pm dinner) regularly. And sometimes, all I want to do is scream. To top it all off, I've been sick for the past two weeks. But as my revenge to the house, I have infected many people... it has been great! But man, in times like those, I wish I was in MN with the fam like none other. And it's also hard, because as I sit here and think about the things I dislike, I am reminded how I do get to live with some of my best friends. And sometimes I feel like I have to dislike it- partly because I am stubborn, and since I've decided I don't like it, I don't want to change my mind; and partly because I feel like I need to dislike it for my friends who are unhappy, too. Right, that's a stupid thing to do, but it's something I can't help feeling. But I know I will stick it out. Mainly because I don't think anyone would quit with me, and also because I would miss the friends I have here, how small of the whole they are. Either way, I just keep hoping next semester will be better... But life otherwise: I am taking 16 credits (almost a full load), I am a peer tutor for a class I took last semester (so basically picked up another class but don't get credit for it), I am doing something for another sorority's philanthropy, I am a designated mail sorter, all along with balancing my hw and my social life (and finding not enough time for sleep). But I just had a really good evening, tonight. And when those come around, my dislike for everything just lessens. I told my tale of freshman year to the Rachels. I saw my Sammy boys tonight, and that was fun. I hung out with Brenden, and we had a really good talk (I always love those good talks with people when you think back and you're like... that was good). And I am really happy with him. He makes me really happy. And that scares me. I'm so nervous that I will get in so deep, and then get my heart broken. But I can't let fear guide my life. And so I give everyday what I can, and smile as much as I can, and go on from there. But I keep a pic of the spoon and cherry as my backdrop, to always keep my heart in the SLPizzle, and miss you all a lot, and continue to live my other life.