"You may be fighting with the struggle between attachment and separation. On one hand, the idea of having a perfect home and family life sounds wonderful to you-- and you want to do whatever is required to achieve this goal. But at the same time, you won't allow yourself to get too attached to something that has the possibility of failure. Don't sabotage your chance for happiness based upon your past experiences"-- Horoscope for today

Horoscopes are what you make them. Someone else reading the same one will find a totally different meaning out of this. But for me- this one really hit home. The over-analyzed question of “what do I want” is constantly scrutinized and an answer is never reached. I am surrounded by people in relationships; ones that are long distance, and ones that are across the street. I surrounded by hormone raged freshmen who all they are looking for is ass, and I am surrounded by upperclassmen who are in a place in their lives where they could do the serious relationship thing. Where do I fit in? I find myself going back and forth wondering if I am ready to date someone, or if I just want to be able to kiss people when I want to. Here I am, halfway through 1st semester of freshman year, and part of me just don’t feel that I need to be in a relationship. I have my whole life to do that. College is really the only time when you can fool around with people and it generally be ok. I don’t want to be that 40 yr old women who’s sleeping around with people. Ick. Part of me, though, knows that I am just protecting myself from getting hurt. In a past relationship- I was fucked over by it- to be blunt. I’m afraid of that happening again. Not only that, but there is all these boys that peak my interest. I hate the “what-ifs”. I’ve noticed, too, how easily someone can make me happy- like a friend from upstairs calls me nicknames. And he even knows that I’m from SLP. Sometimes it feels like he knows me more then the people I hang out with every day do…

In a way that leads me to my next thought: How much does age effect a relationship? The high school senior dating the freshman is gross. 18-14. Almost going to college- just getting out of junior high. You seem to grow up so much in those 4 years (well most people do). And then there are those people who are in college, still with someone from high school. College is so much different then high school, and there is this gap- one person is still under their parents rules with curfews and whatnot, and the other is independent and is meeting so many new people. I do commend those people who successfully stay together through that… but I’m still not a fan of the college freshmen with the high school sophomore… but maybe that’s just me. I also have a friend who’s a college freshman and dating a 27 yr old. There is such a huge gap in life styles and things to accomplish and woah. What about 18 and 23? One just starting college.. one out. Those 4 years you grow up a lot and are in different places in your life… Idk… maybe I just over think these things and for most people age really doesn’t matter. Maybe I should just stop coming up with excuses and try something out. Maybe it’ll be just what I need… I just don’t want to say one day “what if?”.