Talking to no one

If you have a series of little fires, and one huge fire, what do you tackle first?

My philosophy is to get the little fires out of the way, so you can then focus all your attention on the big one.

Home is where the heart is- and I desperately miss future room 14 and Bloomington, IN (but I'll always hold love for MN)

Sometimes, I really wish I could go to my cave and take a vacation.

I have genuine friends.

I'm not good with change.

Sometimes I just want to be held, and told everything will be alright.

Pick your battles wisely.

When you don't know what you're looking for- you find it.

Sometimes I feel like a chicken with their head cut off.

If only ingredients like:
The cow as white as milk,
The cape as red as blood,
The hair as yellow as corn,
The slipper as pure as gold
could make a potion that could lift the invisible spell.

Sometimes, all I need is to just hear your voice, and see you're name on the phone to make me smile.

And sometimes a girls night out is just what the doctor ordered.

A finals poem

Twas the night before finals, and all through the college,
The students were praying for last minute knowledge.
Most were quite sleepy, but none touched their beds,
While visions of essays danced in their heads.
Out in the taverns, a few were still drinking,
And hoping that liquor would loosen up their thinking.

In my own room, I had been pacing,
And dreaded exams I soon would be facing.
My roommate was speechless, her nose in her books,
And my comments to her drew unfriendly looks.
I drained all the coffee, and brewed a new pot,
No longer caring that my nerves were shot.

I stared at my notes, but my thoughts were muddy,
My eyes went a blur, I just couldn't study.
"Some pizza might help," I said with a shiver,
But each place I called refused to deliver.
I'd nearly concluded that life was too cruel,
With futures depending on grades had in school.

When all of a sudden, our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put-It-Off ambled inside.
Her spirit was careless, her manner was mellow,
She wore a white toga, she started to bellow:
"What kind of student would make such a fuss,
To toss back at teachers what they tossed at us?"

"On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes! On last year's exams!
On Wingit and Slingit, and last minute crams!"
Her message delivered, she vanished from sight,
But we heard her laughing outside in the night.
"Your teachers have pegged you, so just do your best.
Happy finals to all, and to all, a good test!"

Crazy

Ponder

As you travel through life, there are always those times when decisions just have to be made. . when the choices are hard, and solutions seem scarce, and the rain seems to soak your parade. There are some situations where all you can do is to simply let go and move on. Gather courage together and choose a direction that carries you toward a new dawn. So pack up your troubles and take a step forward the. The process of change can be tough. . but think about all the excitement ahead. There could be adventures you never imagined just waiting around the next bend and wishes and dreams just about to come true in ways you can't yet comprehend. Perhaps you'll find friendships that spring from new interests as you challenge your status quo, and learn there are so many options in life and so many ways you can grow. Perhaps you'll go places you never expected and see things that you've never seen. . .or travel to fabulous worlds and wonderful sports in between. Perhaps you'll find warmth and affection and caring-"a somebody special" who's there. . to help you stay centered and listen with interest to stories and feelings you share. Perhaps you'll find comfort in knowing your friends are supportive of all that you do . . and believe that whatever decisions you make, they'll be the right choices for you. So keep putting one foot in front of the other and taking your life day by day. There's a brighter tomorrow just down the road. Don't look back- you're not going that way.

I am so overloaded I feel like I might explode. Everyone can just piss off. Room 14 next semester is going to tiggity tight. Ok time for more work.





Here is a picture of the new executive board of Sigma Delta Tau, Upsilon chapter

All guys should be like this...

To every guy that walked her to her car.
:::
To every guy that opens doors.
:::
To every guy that walks on the outside of a sidewalk so he can be the first to get hit by a car that careens off the road and push her out of the way.
:::
To every guy that cooks dinner for her.
:::
To every guy that's said, "Sex can wait."
:::
To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful."
:::
To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.
:::
To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.
:::
To every guy who has given her flowers just because.
:::
To every guy that said he would die for her.
:::
To every guy that really would.
:::
To every guy that did what she wanted to do.
:::
To every guy that treated her like a goddess.
:::
To every guy that cried in front of her.
:::
To every guy that she cried in front of.
:::
To every guy that holds hands with her.
:::
To every guy that kisses her with meaning.
:::
To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.
:::
To every guy who would give their jacket up.
:::
To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.
:::
To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to be able to see her for ten minutes.
:::
To every guy that would give his seat up.
:::
To every guy that just wants to cuddle.
:::
To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.
:::
To every guy who told his secrets to her.
:::
To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.
:::
To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.
:::
To every guy that believed in her dreams.
:::
To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.
:::
To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.
:::
To every guy that says: I love you.
:::
To every guy that wasn't just trying to get laid.
:::
To every guy that actually listened.

Why am I so tired?

For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, too much pressure from my job, earwax build-up, poor blood, screaming kids, late night talk shows, MTV, or anything else I could think of.

But now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked.

Here's why:

The population of this country is 273 million.
140 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 19 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with defeating "terrorism".
Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 14.8 million people who work for state government.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me.

And there you are sitting on your butt, at your computer, reading jokes. Nice, real nice.

I always feel guilty when I think about this. I hate the fact that my parents pay so much for something I take for granted every single day. I should be devoting all of my time to my studies- that is what I am here for. But 8 times out of 10, another "pressing" issue, like drama within the sorority, or a friend having an issue takes over and lo and behold, school gets put on the back burner. On that note- even though there are so many more things running through my head, I will go and study for my future tests. Because I need to not only prove to my parents, but also to myself that I deserve to be here and I don't take for granted that everyone else had to work hard for me to be here. I can do this...

You Can Make a Difference In Your World

You Can Make a Difference In Your World

It's not how much you accomplish in life that really counts,
but how much you give to others.
It's not how high you build your dreams
that makes a difference,
but how high your faith can climb.
It's not how many goals you reach,
but how many lives you touch.
It's not who you know that matters,
but who you are inside.

Believe in the impossible,
Hold tight to the incredible,
And live each day to its fullest potential.
You can make a difference in the world.
-Rebecca Barlow Jordan

Small town and small mind

Last night I had my first true encounter with small minded, small town, ignorance...

Ok so here is what happened: This kid who I have had no problems with before was drunk one evening and ended up making a comment that the reason why so and so was stupid was because he was Jewish. I gave him a look and was like, "excuse me". "Oh no you're cool Libby, but all other Jews I've met are just stupid." So then he proceeded to tell everyone in the room (who were all appalled how stupid he was) that because he grew up in a small town and never met a Jewish person or Black person before he came to IU he had the right to not like them. And "when I'm done with these 4 years of being here, I'm moving back to (that small town) and getting married". So, basically, this kid is incredibly stupid and it just makes me sad that he doesn't understand that his words hurt others and his views are wrong. I really hate small town, small minded people.

I'm happy

Despite the drama over spring break, and the stress of midterms; despite the long to do list, and the crazy people... I am happy. I can honestly say that I do not hate this house anymore. Does this house make me happy? No, not really... but my friends do. And that means a lot right there. I realized that if need be- I can study for 10 hrs and then go the next day on 3 hrs of sleep. I can motivate myself to do better. People make me happy.

Words aren't coming to me right now, but its comforting to go to bed with a smile on my face.

Great weekend with the parents. Too short. Always how it goes, right?

Words of wisdom and encouragement from Nick

well you are young, and this is the point. sucks don't it? they don't tell you this stuff at orientation. what you are going through is social and spiritual reconstruction. you are searching the bends of your being finding things they you like and dislike. i know it sucks now, but you can trust me that you will come out the other end wiser for it. just maintain that you are the most important thing right now. watch out for yourself. if you're unhappy look to why and how it can be amended. on the other hand be comfortable with your solution. don't move against your will. work with your environment. all these bitches driving you nuts? spend as little time there as possible. find a coffee shop on the edge of town. strap the ipod in and find your peace.

Wild flowers

The east side of the Carrizo plain, in the Temblor Range, about 50 miles due west of Bakersfield, California.

Po Po

This past Friday evening was a crazy one. Went to a house party of people I had been friend's with last year. Hung around for 20 min when Rachel had to pee (surprise?). As we're heading back downstairs one of the people who lives there goes- hide in the bathroom- the cops are here! So I'm hiding in the bathroom with 4 freshman girls; call Rachel who is hiding in the bathroom next to me. Get a call from Steph who says the GET OUT: the cops are giving everyone 5 min to leave. I become extremely scared to leave. Meryl calls: GET OUT NOW!. We run past the cops and a scared Jason to Steph and her car.

-Sigh of relief-

After we slow down our hear rates and clam down, we have Steph drop me and Rachel off at Phi Psi. We hang around there for 30 min, chatting it up and stuff and decide to go to another house party. Sober sis comes to pick us up and off we went.

Get to the house party to find that you have to pay a $5 donation to Katrina in order to get in. Blah. Then inside, there is all of this Monster energy drink and people who look very professional bartending. Someone tells me the party was sponsored by Monster. Cool. So we're chatting away. I chatting with a senior who was in SDT but deactivated. She has no regrets... Then all of a sudden, everyone is leaving. And I was just like, huh, I wonder why everyone is leaving. Then I hear someone say pretty casually, there is a cop at the backdoor. So I say RACHEL, put your drink down now we have to leave- there is a cop. So we hightail it out of there with the other underage kiddles to find a cop car pulling up the front. Luckily we just kept on walking, and ended up in a parking lot of some apts. End up walking 4 or 5 blocks to one of the kids I met townhouse (I was with his friend who I knew and Rachel- so not sketchy). Then, we call our hero who comes and picks us up and gets us safely home from our crazy night.

Competition

I'm in an unspoken competition. It's like this big game, that no one knows the rules, but everyone is trying to get ahead, and everyone is trying to have it best. I shouldn't feel guilty for the way I choose to lead my life and the actions I take, but I do, simply because others around me show their disappointment in their looks. I'm sick of having to explain my reasoning. Maybe I just don't want to talk to you today. Don't make me feel guilty. Maybe I don't want to go hang out with you and your chosen friend. Don't make me feel guilty. These are my decisions and my choices. Let's leave it at that.

Sunday, September 11th, 2005
A Letter to All Who Voted for George W. Bush from Michael Moore

To All My Fellow Americans Who Voted for George W. Bush:

On this, the fourth anniversary of 9/11, I'm just curious, how does it feel?

How does it feel to know that the man you elected to lead us after we were attacked went ahead and put a guy in charge of FEMA whose main qualification was that he ran horse shows?

That's right. Horse shows.

I really want to know -- and I ask you this in all sincerity and with all due respect -- how do you feel about the utter contempt Mr. Bush has shown for your safety? C'mon, give me just a moment of honesty. Don't start ranting on about how this disaster in New Orleans was the fault of one of the poorest cities in America. Put aside your hatred of Democrats and liberals and anyone with the last name of Clinton. Just look me in the eye and tell me our President did the right thing after 9/11 by naming a horse show runner as the top man to protect us in case of an emergency or catastrophe.

I want you to put aside your self-affixed label of Republican/conservative/born-again/capitalist/ditto-head/right-winger and just talk to me as an American, on the common ground we both call America.

Are we safer now than before 9/11? When you learn that behind the horse show runner, the #2 and #3 men in charge of emergency preparedness have zero experience in emergency preparedness, do you think we are safer?

When you look at Michael Chertoff, the head of Homeland Security, a man with little experience in national security, do you feel secure?

When men who never served in the military and have never seen young men die in battle send our young people off to war, do you think they know how to conduct a war? Do they know what it means to have your legs blown off for a threat that was never there?

Do you really believe that turning over important government services to private corporations has resulted in better services for the people?

Why do you hate our federal government so much? You have voted for politicians for the past 25 years whose main goal has been to de-fund the federal government. Do you think that cutting federal programs like FEMA and the Army Corps of Engineers has been good or bad for America? GOOD OR BAD?

With the nation's debt at an all-time high, do you think tax cuts for the rich are still a good idea? Will you give yours back so hundreds of thousands of homeless in New Orleans can have a home?

Do you believe in Jesus? Really? Didn't he say that we would be judged by how we treat the least among us? Hurricane Katrina came in and blew off the facade that we were a nation with liberty and justice for all. The wind howled and the water rose and what was revealed was that the poor in America shall be left to suffer and die while the President of the United States fiddles and tells them to eat cake.

That's not a joke. The day the hurricane hit and the levees broke, Mr. Bush, John McCain and their rich pals were stuffing themselves with cake. A full day after the levees broke (the same levees whose repair funding he had cut), Mr. Bush was playing a guitar some country singer gave him. All this while New Orleans sank under water.

It would take ANOTHER day before the President would do a flyover in his jumbo jet, peeking out the window at the misery 2500 feet below him as he flew back to his second home in DC. It would then be TWO MORE DAYS before a trickle of federal aid and troops would arrive. This was no seven minutes in a sitting trance while children read "My Pet Goat" to him. This was FOUR DAYS of doing nothing other than saying "Brownie (FEMA director Michael Brown), you're doing a heck of a job!"

My Republican friends, does it bother you that we are the laughing stock of the world?

And on this sacred day of remembrance, do you think we honor or shame those who died on 9/11/01? If we learned nothing and find ourselves today every bit as vulnerable and unprepared as we were on that bright sunny morning, then did the 3,000 die in vain?

Our vulnerability is not just about dealing with terrorists or natural disasters. We are vulnerable and unsafe because we allow one in eight Americans to live in horrible poverty. We accept an education system where one in six children never graduate and most of those who do can't string a coherent sentence together. The middle class can't pay the mortgage or the hospital bills and 45 million have no health coverage whatsoever.

Are we safe? Do you really feel safe? You can only move so far out and build so many gated communities before the fruit of what you've sown will be crashing through your walls and demanding retribution. Do you really want to wait until that happens? Or is it your hope that if they are left alone long enough to soil themselves and shoot themselves and drown in the filth that fills the street that maybe the problem will somehow go away?

I know you know better. You gave the country and the world a man who wasn't up for the job and all he does is hire people who aren't up for the job. You did this to us, to the world, to the people of New Orleans. Please fix it. Bush is yours. And you know, for our peace and safety and security, this has to be fixed. What do you propose?

I have an idea, and it isn't a horse show.

Yours,

Michael Moore
www.michaelmoore.com
mmflint@aol.com

I-N-D-I-A-N-A

I suppose it's time to tap in to my brain and cause a little brain spill...

My other life- my Indiana life:
I am a stranger, just visiting. Sometimes I wonder if one day I will wake up, only to find myself back in SLP- land of lakes (which I miss dearly). These past few weeks have been definitely up and down. Sometimes I am so in the middle of feeling happy or upset that I have no feelings at all. I loved last year. And more then anything, I don't really deal well with change. So, this has been rough- with so many new things to try to deal with. I have 3 roommates. Yes, I've lived with 10 other girls at camp for a month, but that felt more like La La land then this ever will. I went from a double-single, to the little Libby living in a shoe. There is more drama in my life then ever before. I eat an early-bird special (5pm dinner) regularly. And sometimes, all I want to do is scream. To top it all off, I've been sick for the past two weeks. But as my revenge to the house, I have infected many people... it has been great! But man, in times like those, I wish I was in MN with the fam like none other. And it's also hard, because as I sit here and think about the things I dislike, I am reminded how I do get to live with some of my best friends. And sometimes I feel like I have to dislike it- partly because I am stubborn, and since I've decided I don't like it, I don't want to change my mind; and partly because I feel like I need to dislike it for my friends who are unhappy, too. Right, that's a stupid thing to do, but it's something I can't help feeling. But I know I will stick it out. Mainly because I don't think anyone would quit with me, and also because I would miss the friends I have here, how small of the whole they are. Either way, I just keep hoping next semester will be better... But life otherwise: I am taking 16 credits (almost a full load), I am a peer tutor for a class I took last semester (so basically picked up another class but don't get credit for it), I am doing something for another sorority's philanthropy, I am a designated mail sorter, all along with balancing my hw and my social life (and finding not enough time for sleep). But I just had a really good evening, tonight. And when those come around, my dislike for everything just lessens. I told my tale of freshman year to the Rachels. I saw my Sammy boys tonight, and that was fun. I hung out with Brenden, and we had a really good talk (I always love those good talks with people when you think back and you're like... that was good). And I am really happy with him. He makes me really happy. And that scares me. I'm so nervous that I will get in so deep, and then get my heart broken. But I can't let fear guide my life. And so I give everyday what I can, and smile as much as I can, and go on from there. But I keep a pic of the spoon and cherry as my backdrop, to always keep my heart in the SLPizzle, and miss you all a lot, and continue to live my other life.

So... finally moved in (mostly). Finally have my comp up and ready to go! Now adjusting.

Moms

It's happening again, me getting frustrated and annoyed with my mom. It didn't go away until like a month in to summer, and now I find her nagging and engulfing coming back and I just want to scream. I liked getting along with her. Oh Di, the crazy things you do to my brain.

Hm

A little nervous
A little afraid
A lot excited
A good reminder how I hate change
Bloomington in 5 days

war n.
A state of open, armed, often prolonged conflict carried on between nations, states, or parties.
The period of such conflict

As a general rule, I don't agree with war. I wish there was another way to deal things. The past month or more, I've dealt on a personal basis with someone who is actually leaving to go fight in Iraq. To see his family and friends, and him for that matter, so miserable over this makes me hate this war even more. But then I was shown the following e-mail that shook up my world a little bit. I don't want to look at things one sided. And so, I'm giving others the opportunity to think a little different. While the following didn't make me agree with this war any more then I did, it shed some new light on it...

"This is a letter from Ray Reynolds, a medic in the Iowa Army National Guard, serving in Iraq:

As I head off to Baghdad for the final weeks of my stay in Iraq, I wanted to say thanks to all of you who did not believe the media. They have done a very poor job of covering everything that has happened. I am sorry that I have not been able to visit all of you during my two week leave back home. And just so you can rest at night knowing something is happening in Iraq that is noteworthy, I thought I would pass this on to you. This is the list of things that has happened in Iraq recently: (Please share it with your friends and compare it to the version that your paper is producing)

*Over 400,000 kids have up-to-date immunizations
*School attendance is up 80% from levels before the war
*Over 1,500 schools have been renovated and rid of the weapons stored there so education can occur
*The port of Uhm Qasar was renovated so grain can be off-loaded from ships faster
*The country had its first 2 billion barrel export of oil in August
*The country now receives 2 times the electrical power it did before the war
*100% of the hospitals are open and fully staffed, compared to 35% before the war.
*Elections are taking place in every major city, and city councils are in place.
*Sewer and water lines are installed in every major city.
*Over 60,000 police are patrolling the streets.
*Over 100,000 Iraqi civil defense police are securing the country
*Over 80,000 Iraqi soldiers are patrolling the streets side by side with US soldiers.
*Over 400,000 people have telephones for the first time ever
*Students are taught field sanitation and hand washing techniques to prevent the spread of germs
*An interim constitution has been signed
*Girls are allowed to attend school
*Textbooks that don't mention Saddam are in the schools for the first time in 30 years

Don't believe for one second that these people don't want us there. I have met many, many people from Iraq that wants us there, and in a big way. They say they will never see the freedoms we talk about but they hope their children will. We are doing a good job in Iraq and I challenge anyone, anywhere to dispute me on these facts.

Ray Reynolds
Iowa Army National Guard
234th Signal Battalion"

One thing to keep in mind after reading this is this was sent over a year ago, in May of 2004. So, to me... what is going on now that is positive? I still see things about landmines, and children risking their lives to beg for water. I still hear the army finding loop holes in their contracts to send people back to war, even after they've retired. So, what now? I don't know what to think. But I don't want to have to comfort a friend because a loved one is off fighting in a war. Especially one that I don't think I can support. But alas, my wishing does just as good as wishing for a million dollars. So in the meantime, I will be a comfort to who I can, and remind them that the sun will come out tomorrow and tomorrow is just a day away.

The question

"'One day, a child asked, 'Daddy, how was I born?'

Dad says, 'Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!

Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN.

Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber- cafe.

We snuck into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button,
nine months later a blessed little Popup appeared and said: ....You've Got Male!'"

The Equipment

One morning a husband returns after several hours of fishing and
decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife
decides to take their boat out. She motors out a short distance,
anchors, and takes out her book.

Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman
and says, 'Good morning, 'Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, thinking isn't that obvious.

'You're in a restricted fishing area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, Officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading,' she tells him.

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start
at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says
the woman.

'But I haven't touched you,' says the game warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know, you
could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day, ma'am,' he said... and quickly left.

Somewhere... out there.

A letter from John Kerry

"Dear Friend,
Let's make our principles crystal clear right out of the box.
We will never support a Supreme Court nominee intent on reversing Roe v. Wade and undoing critical civil rights protections. And we will never accept a double standard that says, on a decision vital to America's future, President Bush's most extreme supporters can campaign all-out while you and I are urged to be silent.

I am asking you to endorse and help pay for a powerful message that will appear in the days ahead in newspapers across the country. Show the President and the Senate just how strongly you feel about protecting our fundamental freedoms:

From the range of choices the White House is currently considering, America and the Constitution would be best served if President Bush chooses a nominee in the mold of Sandra Day O'Connor, who was named to the Court by no less of a conservative than Ronald Reagan and approved unanimously by the United States Senate.

But President Bush's most extreme supporters are demanding a nominee who doesn't think or act anything like Justice O'Connor. They want a rigid ideologue who will reverse what President Bush has called the 'settled law' of Roe v. Wade, one who will support their efforts to use the Supreme Court as a battering ram to undo decades of progress on civil rights, Roe v. Wade, and privacy.

They want something else as well.

They want you and me to participate in this momentous debate about fundamental freedoms with one hand tied behind our back. They actually expect us to step aside while they roll over our rights. Let's prove that we will never let that happen.

While they unleash a multi-million dollar advertising campaign on behalf of President Bush's choice in close coordination with the White House, you and I are supposed to remain silent -- lest we be charged with "rushing to judgment."

While they conduct a no-holds-barred effort to brush aside any and all questions about the nominee's record and his or her commitment to protecting individual freedom, you and I are supposed to be silenced for fear of being called "obstructionists" and cowered by their threat to revive the "nuclear option."

That's worse than unacceptable. It's un-American, and it's not how we carry on public debate in the greatest democracy on earth. Show them that, with the future of the Supreme Court on the line, we won't stand on the sidelines:

I know I can count on your support in making the following commitment: I will insist on a complete and full examination of the record of President Bush's nominee. And, if that nominee is intent on reversing Roe v. Wade and essential Supreme Court protections for civil rights, I will use every option I have as a United States Senator to keep that nominee off the Court.

Sincerely,

John Kerry

P.S. Don't let them silence our voices. Go out in your community and spread the word along to everyone you know by passing on this message. We must all commit ourselves to standing up for Roe V. Wade and our civil rights."

Paid for by Friends of John Kerry, Inc.

people are stupid. i feel lonly and empty. i dont measure up. i guess i never will. why should it matter? i am me, right? but i can't ever seem to please myself. i never seem to reach that next step. i will never be great or fabulous. just blah. and i have yet to be ok with that. i always want more. oh libby, just shut up.

Late night thoughts

Here's the deal: It still hurts and it still effects me. Every single day of my life. When I watch a movie, or listen to a song, or talk to my friends or watch people live their lives- I'm scarred. As much as I tell myself I have moved on, as much as I want to tell myself that it was in the past, it still haunts me and keeps me from living life the way I wish I could. I curse myself everyday for being so naive as to let something affect life as I have let this. In my "La La Land", I have had numerous conversations of closing the door, once and for all. And when real life yells "action" I freeze and forget all my lines. And I fear that I will never fully get over it. I just want to move on. I want to trust. I want to believe. I don't want to be jealous of someone else who has the ability to feel the things I wont let myself feel anymore. I don't want to be a cynic. And I'm so irritated that this has gone on as long as it has.

Something to consider....

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and
when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the
back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the
herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole
group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills
off brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest
brain cells first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain
cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient
machine. So drink more beer!

Scrabble It

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE ZS

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

Riddle me this:
What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a
thousand years?

ANSWER: The letter M

Homeland

Back from the homeland. It was fabulous but not what I was expecting. We had 6 Israeli soldiers being tourists with us for our 10 day trip which was great 'cuz now I have friends in Israel. I also made some new friends which is always nice! We hiked SO much in the first few days that my legs were SO sore; it was so painful to even climb the stairs on the bus. But now I can say I've hiked in the golon heights for 3 hrs, hiked in the Jillaboon (a water hike), climbed up Mt. Masada on the hard snake path, rode a camel, slept in the desert in the Bedowin (sp) tents, shopped on Benyahuda (sp) street, prayed at the kotel (Western Wall), among other things. My sadness over the trip was my lack of emotion with it. One of my favorite memories is on Shabbat which we had in Jerusalem. We stood outside, and one person said how at home, we always face east- in the direction of Jerusalem, and now we were actually here- and she took off her shoes to say that there was now nothing between her and Jerusalem. From that point, most of us also took off our shoes and chills ran through me. However, that was about as good as it got. A few people started to cry when we reached Jerusalem. Many got emotional at the Wall. Most were fascinated to be on Mt. Masada. I on the other hand felt very little. Yes, it was very cool to be at the wall, a place where I've seen so many pictures of and heard about it all my life. But I didn't cry. I wish it all would've meant more. But I am grateful for the opportunity to have visited the homeland and have people wish me a "Shabbat Shalom" like it was no big deal (clearly it isn't there but it's weird to hear that while you're shopping on a Friday afternoon). I am grateful to know that I will always have a place in Israel and can call it home. Pictures of the trip are up on my website, in which I will soon add captions and other people's pictures. L'hetraot and Shalom.

My newest adventure..

I'm off to Boston today, where my friend Rachel K. lives. Our friends Rachel P. and Amy will be there! School reuinion SO soon! From there, Rachel K., Amy, and myself will be heading off to ISRAEL! I'm still in shock that I'm actually going! Shalom and I shall talk to everyone towards the end of May. Leave love for my return.

Not just a hop, skip, and a jump away...

It hit me. Right now. 11:41pm. I laid down to go to bed to realize I missed my twin extra long. It hit me that I can no longer go upstairs to hang out with a boy. I can no longer go across the street to endless people's rooms. To walk to all of my friend's house will take more then 5 min. And I'm sad. I'm lonely. Already. It'll get better- I know. I went through this exact thing 9 months ago when I moved in. And everything worked out famously. I just- I'm just not ready yet. My bags will remain unpacked and my old pillowcases will remain on my pillows for one more night. And tomorrow will be another day.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end

I was reminded of around this time last year. AP test were rolling around and I found myself being like, this is when finals will be in college! I remember having our last senior meeting in the gym to finalize graduation mumbo jumbo. I remember getting excited for all of those grad parties. And I remember the grad gifts that me and Jen exchanged with each other. We both decided that no matter what else was given, the words of Dr. Seuss had to be included. Everyone is getting ready to end a chapter of their lives. Whether it be high school, freshmen year of college, a loved one graduating, or out to find your own path- take these words with you wherever you go.

Oh, the Places You'll Go!
by Dr. Seuss


Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

2 weeks and 5 days....

Soon my window to the outside world will once again be covered in leaves. In the beginning- it was a safe cover, something that added privacy and color. Now the lack of coverage has allowed me to perfect my people watching skills. With the growth of new leaves, I am reminded once again that everything is a signal to the changing of the seasons, and with that, a changing of our lives.

"And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and dawn
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return we con only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game." -Joni Mitchell

Here I am, 19 years old, and in the span of 8 months I have created a life for myself that is so much different then my past 18 years. I don't do well with change and I really don't do well with goodbyes. I think one of my fears is leaving these people that I've become so close with here in "La La land" (school world). When I left home in August, I knew that eventually I would be coming home to the people that really did know me best and they would still be there for me. However, I'm now leaving people I've only know for less then a year. What will happen over the 4 months we're not in school? How many people will I call and who will actually call me? I fear that once I leave this world that I've created for myself, these people and places will vaporize into merely memories that will never be what they were right now. And that scares me. I am so happy right now. I can honestly say that I'm not ready to leave.

At some point, I realized that there is a whole world between the hours of 12-3am. I realized that spontaneously drinking on a Monday night does happen. I realized that people will change and grow and there isn't a darn thing I can do about it. And more then anything, I realize friends will show up in the most unexpected places and the most unexpected times.

Like Carly, I only wish I could find the words to describe my world...

"I can't remember all the times I've tried to tell myself to hold on to these moments as they pass."- Counting Crows

I'm glad I'm Taking the Journey...

I scored a 77% on the "How Minnesotan are you?" Quizie! What about you?

One month

*It's offcially one month 'till the end of freshmen year*

A year has passed and now we stand on the brink of returning to a world where we are surrounded by the paradox of everything, and yet nothing being the same. In one month we will reluctantly give our hugs and fighting the tears, say goodbye to people who were once just names on a sheet of paper to return to people that we hugged and fought tears to say goodbye to before we ever left. We will leave our best friends to return to our best friends. We will go back to the places we came from and go back to the same things we did last summer and every summer before that. We will come into town on that same familiar road, and even though it has been months, it will seem like only yesterday. As you walk into your old bedroom, every emotion will pass through you as you reflect on the way your life has changed and the person you have become. You suddenly realize that the things that were most important to you a year ago don't seem to matter so much anymore, and the things you hold highest now, no one at home will completely understand. The memories and the stories from school won't mean anything to anyone at home and yet you resent them for that, that they can't share that happiness with you. Who will you call first? What will you do your first weekend home with your friends? How long before you actually start missing people barging in without calling or knocking? Who will get pizza at three in the morning with you now? How long until you adjust to sleeping alone in a room again? Then you start to realize how much things have changed, and you realize the hardest part of university is balancing the two completely different worlds you now live in, trying desperately to hold on to everything all the while trying to figure out what you have to leave behind. In the matter of one day's traveling time, we will leave our world of living next do or to our best friends, walking across campus to eat, instant messenger, 8:00am classes, and the perpetual procrastination to a world that will seem foreign to us despite the fact that we lived in it for eighteen years. But it is different now. We now know the meaning of true friendship. We know who we have kept in touch with over the past year and who we hold dearest in our hearts. We've left our high school world to deal with the real world. We've had our hearts broken, we've fallen in love, we've helped our best friends overcome depression, stress and death, and we've stayed up all night on the phone just to talk to a friend in need. There have been times when we've felt so helpless being hours away from home when we know our families needed us, and there are times we know we have made a difference. One month from now we will leave. One month from now we take down our pictures, and pack up our clothes. No more going next door to do nothing for hours on end. We will leave our friends whose random email and phone calls will bring us to laughter and tears this summer. We will take our memories and dreams and put them away for now, saving them for our return to this world. One month from now we will arrive. We will unpack our bags and have dinner with our families. We will drive over to our best friend's house and do nothing for hours on end. We will return to the same friends whose random emails and phone calls have brought us to laughter and tears over the year. We will unpack old dreams and memories that have been put away for the past year. In one month we will dig deep inside to find the strength and conviction to adjust to change and still keep each other close. And somehow, in some way, we will find our place between these two completely different worlds.

Guess who's bloggin

I just decided tonight that I was in a mood to blog. Things are so up and down these days. Guess I'll do a summary of my life from the past while. Spring break I was home in good ol' SLP. At some point in college, I want the "spring break" trip, but I was content with being at home. I saw some movies, hung out with people, and relaxed. It was also an interesting break being that Matt's dad died. It was a slap in the face of reality that bad things do happen to good people. Over these past years I usually hear my parents talk about their friend's parents dying. And yes, there were the rare occasions in HS where a peer lost a parent. But Chuck was someone I had actually met. It was so... weird, for lack of a better word. Anywho, I was excited to come back to school. I missed people. Things back here have been good and bad. The week right after spring break I had tons of tests, papers, and projects. And since then, I feel like I've been equally busy with this or that. The days are flying by, and I honestly have a month and 2 days left of my freshmen year of college. Sorority life- I'm just going to say that I'm trying to be positive. I'm trying to not feed off of myself. I'm trying. On a wonderful note: I'm going to ISRAEL in May on Birthright! I'm incredibly excited because it is with some of my friends from school and it's such an awesome opportunity! Well, I'm off to do more homework and such. If you'd like elaboration on any topic in my life that was either not covered, or not covered thoroughly, either leave me a message in the comments, or IM me.

"To die will be an awfully big adventure"- Peter Pan

All my love to the Skolnick family. We'll never forget Chuck.

And so... spring break begins

I Feel Home
O.a.r.

There are few things pure in this world anymore, and home is one of the few
We'd have a drink outside maybe run and hide, if we saw a couple men in blue
But to me it's so damn easy to see that your people are the people at home
Well I been away but now I'm back today and there ain't a place I'd rather go

I feel home when I see the faces that remember my own
I feel home when I'm chillin outside with the people I know
I feel home, and that's just what I feel
Cause home, to me, is reality and all I need is something real

We're feeling alright headin out tonight maybe off to a dark driveway
I say now, some feel bored, and some are looking for more, but we all just decide to stay
We got nothing to do, but when I look at you I see something that I know and love
And with the crack of a smile we all stay awhile, we know from home their ain't nothin above

Well in the end, we can all call a friend, well that's something that I know as true
In a thousand years, and a thousand tears, I'll come finding my original crew
Cause to me throughout eternity there is somewhere we are welcome to go
I said it's something free that means a lot to me, when I'm with my friends I feel home

I feel home when I see the faces that remember my own
I feel home when I'm chillin outside with the people I know
I feel home, and that's just what I feel
Cause home, to me, is reality and all I need is something real
Home to me is reality and all I need is something real, I feel home

Sigma Delta Tau
Simga Delta Tau
"Spending Daddy's Trillions" or "Suck Don't Talk" are only a couple of the nicknames of this nationally Jewish sorority. These sisters are the hottest, not to mention richest and best dressed, women on college campuses all over the United States. Passing the torch from generation to generation of future trophy wives, they will probably marry a Zeta Beta Tau or a doctor, lawyer or banker. Even though they are referred to as STDs they are not cum dumpster slutbag whores like the Delta Gammas and are DEFINITELY not cow stomach wannabe SDT bitches like the Tri Delts (but go ahead anyway and try Delt -- everyone else has). But seriously don't hate them because they're beautiful... hate them because your boyfriend thinks so. So don't be sad if you don't get a bid from them, they are simply out of your league.
Fratboy #1: Hey look at those Sig Delts, I heard they blow so much coke
Fratboy #2: Nah dude, you heard wrong, I heard they blow so much COCK
Fratboy #3: No man, you both got it wrong... they blow cash and wouldn't look twice at either of you

--Urban Dictionary.com

Disney Adult Fairy Tales

Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears,and promises to
provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions."First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."Cinderella agrees. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands the Fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything." "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!" "I can't remember, exactly... Peter Peter, something-or-other...."
*******************************************************************
Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could
help. Gepetto suggested he try little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
*******************************************************************
Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and holding a sword to her throat, said,"Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No you're not! You're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"
*******************************************************************
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge said Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I
said she's fucking Goofy."
*******************************************************************
Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then at on his face crying,"Lie to me! Lie to me!"
*******************************************************************
Did you know... Captain Hook died from jock itch.
*******************************************************************
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he managed for sex. "What's that" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree." Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs wide "Here," she said, "You must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?" "Just checking for bees" said Tarzan.

My life is so different...

I would like to start off with remembering Ruth Tilsner. Ruth is my cousin Sam's grandma, but because of the structure of my family, she was also my grandma, too. Thursday, she passed away. She had been in the hospital for 2 months, and was making little improvements. However, I was completely caught off guard by the phone call I received on Thursday. This was the first person who was really close with me that has passed away. When I was maybe 13, my great uncle died, but I didn't really have an opportunity to know him, so while that was hard, this affects my life so much more. Every year we spend the second night of most holidays at Ruth's house. She was a fabulous cook, and I would always look forward to whatever she would make. Especially her matzo ball soup. G-d, this isn't fair. I hate change. I hate people getting old. And I hate death. I just sit here and just feel so empty. The thought that she isn't sitting in her home in St. Paul, and the thought that I will never see her again, and the thought that she just isn't here anymore... makes me ill. What is one to do in this situation? How can I console my family? Due to this, though, me and Sam have been talking more. We're watching out for each other and trying to get through this together. It's just a hard situation that has no guidelines for getting through it. But I'll never forget...

My life has been so fast paced these past few weeks that I can hardly believe it's the end of February. (However March brings Luke from Little Rock, AR on my wonderful calendar!) With IU sing and sorority activities, I found myself not having any time for myself. My motivation for school slipped. My motivation for anything slipped. I didn't enjoy sorority stuff. Spending 4 hours a day with the same people eventually drove me nuts. I became crabby. I became moody. I hated it. Why did I stick it out? I felt trapped. I didn't want to quit. I didn't want to say what-if. I didn't want to leave the friends I had made. And now... now that it's over... I'm more calm. Part of me feel resentment for girls in other houses because they didn't have to spend or do nearly as much as me and they still got initiated after the same amount of time. Another part of me realizes that these are the people that I will be living with for the next 3 years, and I can tell you all of their names and I can tell you everyone in the house. Was it all worth it? I'll let you know when I move in next year. I think that living with these people and changing who I'm around will finally show me if I'm happy.

Another aspect of my life that has changed is my friends. And my idea of relationships. Recently I have been shown how much someone will change when they are in a relationship, and maybe they're not changing... maybe that's their true self that I never saw. All I know is I don't like change. But when I feel so uncomfortable around my "friend" and her boyfriend... we'll I think that's a sign. A sign either saying that she is really inconsiderate, or a sign that our friendship was just to get us through a time in our lives and now we've moved on. Either way, the Country Club has gotten more exclusive and it's gotten almost unbearable. However, it has brought us non-members closer. And for that, I am grateful. When a door closes, a window opens...

I took my K201 practice on Saturday, and I'm nervous to see my scores posted. After that, I went off to Indy for Sammy's formal. That was so much fun. I love getting dressed up and putting on makeup and all around feeling girly. I love hanging out with the Sammy's boys. It's fun for me to be able to walk around and know so many people. It was definitely a fun night... except for being excluded from the Country Club. Whatever. Pictures of the night are on my picture website which you can find on my profile.

Life with boys is good. I'm happy and I've found someone I really enjoy spending time with. Where it will lead I'm not sure... and that's ok.

And now... my room needs to be cleaned really bad. Au revior.

Today was cloudy... it explains so much...

My first real blog in a long time. I don't know what the fuck is going on or what I'm doing. I feel like I'm in a daze and nothing is clear or really makes sense. I have little to no motivation to do my homework. I don't want to get out of bed to go to classes. While I've met some amazing girls in SDT, and they made me feel so missed this past weekend while I was home, I find myself getting in a bad mood while I'm there. That's not a good sign is it? I know I'm just stressed, and it was cloudy today. But it's just not very reassuring. And not only am I affected by the weather, I'm already really affected by other people. Their moods rub off on me very easily. For example, Steph was having a stressful night tonight and there was nothing I could do to help her. She even leaned on someone else for support. I hate feeling helpless. I hate not being the one to help. And I hate when my friends are unhappy. So there's that. And then to top it off I feel like I'm pissing people off around me. I know that when you're having a shitty day everything else seems to go wrong on those days too.. but in the moment, oy... life just is sucking it up.

Well, since I'm one of those moods, I'm going to be quite honest in this blog. I miss my SLP homies a lot. These are the days when I really wish I could lean on Alison, but she has enough on her plate, and she's as busy or more then me. And I miss how things used to be. I haven't talked to Mac in forever and a day. What happened with that? I almost am to the point where I feel like she wouldn't care what was going on with my life. It's frustrating how things change like that. Carly and I have parted ways more then ever since we've been at school. I guess people really do adapt to their surroundings. Now that we're in different sororities, we seem to be almost competing over nothing. We never go out together anymore. We actually kinda caught up tonight, which was nice.

It's February... Jerod from LA, Paul from NY and Kenny from Detroit will be watching over me this month. Wow is time going quickly.

A piece of advice: Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

Alas, I think I should kiss today goodbye and hope tomorrow brings sunny skies and a better ending.

Welcome to paradise

You have four years to be irresponsible here, relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class times, but you'll remember the time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So stay out late. Go out with your friends on a Tuesday when you have a paper due on Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'till sunrise. The work never ends, but college does... -Tom Petty

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you:
I have been changed for good
-Wicked

To whom it may concern:
What are you doing? Why are you trying so hard to fit in? Is it just that I don't know you very well, or are you really compromising your values just to make friends? How can one minute you say one things and the next do the complete opposite? I just wish I understood your reasoning. That, or I wish you would make sense.

Sincerely,
Me

On a different note:
Tomorrow starts my official week of sorority pledgeship. This past week consisted of going out every night with my pledge class and big sisters and drinking... along with other activities. This was not a typical week, however, and therefore I can't officially say what I think of this whole sorority business. I'm still very overwhelmed with it, but I've met some really nice girls who I can definitely see myself being friends with. Tomorrow we start IU Sing practice... Once I know more, I'll let you know, too.

I'm currently pledging Sigma Delta Tau. After a long process, I think I'm happy. The sisters are really nice. My pledge class is good for the most part- although there are some people who I have had some problems with in the past... we'll see. Gatta go manage my time.

Liger
(Please rate my quiz)


Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Well, it's day two of rush here at IU, and I'm still kinda bitter that I had to cut my break short for this. Everyone I talk to says you just know if a house is for you... well what if I don't know? Part of me really likes the idea of a sorority, and part of me really wants to gag at the idea of it. Guess we'll just have to suck it up and finish it- otherwise I'll never know.

I just realized that coming back to school meant a new guy on my hot man calendar! Shane from Ft. Lauderdale will now keep me warm all through January!

Well, I think it's nap time again. Talking about winter break a million times really takes a lot out of you!

2004 could be seen as the year that defined me, which is wired because I'm not sure what I'm defined as... Nevertheless, it's amazing how in a year where things stayed the same, so much change still took place. High School ended, and with it a huge part of my life as I knew it. College started and new people and things were introduced to me. Bush somehow stayed in office for four more years. The Twins got really close to the world series. My mom got a new job. I had my first surgery. I continued to learn how to accept what I can't change. I discovered how weird it is to not feel at home in the house you grew up in. I found friends in unexpected places. I made mistakes and in turn learned who I am and what I want. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking...

And so, here's a toast to 2004. May we always think back to what we've learned from this past year, and use it to make 2005 great.